· People might lie because they believe the lie is critically important, even when it can be inconsequential.
· People also lie when they are trying to control a situation or they want to avoid disappointing someone.
· People usually tell the truth for the most part, and it might be helpful to try and understand the motivations behind why someone would lie.
Reasons Why People Tend to Lie
1. They feel like the lie matters… to them.
One of the major reason people lie is when they actually do think it matters when in reality it does not. Everyone around them thinks it’s an inconsequential issue, whereas the liar believes it is extremely important.
2. Telling the truth feels like they are giving up control.
Usually, people lie because they are trying to control a situation and exert influence toward getting the reactions they want. They feel like if they will be honest, it might not work out for them as they want it to be.
3. They just don’t want to disappoint.
It might not make any sense to you, but people who tell a lot of lies are often worried about losing the respect of the people they care for. They desire to be liked by you, have you impressed, and want you to value them. They get scared that the truth might drive you away.
4. Lies snowball.
Sometimes people keep lying again and again just to hide a lie they told a long time ago. One lie leading to another, making things more complicated, but they would be too scared to let it go now as they have lied so much that they can actually lose you if they mention the truth.
5. It’s not a lie to them.
Our memory of things is actually quite unreliable, our memories are influenced by many things, and they change over time, and every time we rethink a memory, we reconstruct some parts. Furthermore, repetitive liars feel so much pressure in the moment that their memory becomes unreliable. When they mention something, it’s usually because they genuinely believe, that whatever they are saying is the truth. The memories they have, has been overwhelmed by stress. Sometimes, this can become so severe that the person almost seems to have created a complete another scenario, one that makes more sense to them.
6. They want the lie to be true.
Sometimes, the liar just want their lie to be true so badly that their desire overwhelms their instinct to tell the truth. Liars really hope that they can make something come true by repeating it over and over, and by believing it as hard as they can. They don’t understand that no matter what they do, it is not going to make their delusional lie a truth.
People, by and large, used to be honest by default but now it has changed, so many people lie, for so many dumb reasons. Everyone nowadays just thinks that lying can save them from the trouble of speaking the truth and getting themselves in a situation they can’t back out from, which is clever but stupid. Lying is also a sin and no one should lie unless it is really required and might have someone in extreme danger.
Of course, understanding a big fibber’s motivations and having empathy in such situations is valuable. We need to try and be more honest to people we care for, even if the truth is always bitter, it will build so much trust among people and they will feel much closer to us than they used to, sometimes the truth drives the people we care about away from us but that does not mean we have to save our relationships with them using a lie.
